Spilling The Beans On "The Secret"

I just heard a secret. Actually, it's “The Secret” - the viral multi-media marketing phenomenon that promises to unlock the great secrets of the universe and bring eternal happiness and success to anyone with two hours and $29.95 to spare. As with most secrets, it seems that I'm one of the last ones to know.

Now, I'll admit, at first glance the "The Secret" seemed a little like a New Age version of the “Da Vinci Code”, set at a Tony Robbins motivational meeting - but I was intrigued and “Desperate Housewives” was a repeat.

Apparently, for centuries the world's greatest minds have played a long-winded and life-transforming game of “Telephone”. Now that they finally have my number, I'm here with the 411. The story went something like this; Plato passed “The Secret” to Newton,who spilled the beans faster than a bushel of apples to Shakespeare, who played it out for Beethoven, who was bright enough to enlighten both Edison and Einstein. Even modern day mavens like Larry King, Ellen DeGeneres and Oprah have gotten the message.

Rhonda Byrne, creator of the 2006 documentary style video and best selling book, “The Secret”, claims that you can turn your life into your very own personal Neiman Marcus Christmas Catalogue, with everything free for the taking, by simply obeying the Law of Attraction.

According to Ms. Byrne and the myriad of philosophers, quantum physicists, feng shui experts and other prominent self-help gurus interviewed for the project, the mind is like a magnet. Maybe my mother was right, after all - Perhaps her finger-wag and warning; “Be careful what you ask for, Tootsie, 'cause you just might get it” is, in fact, the key to eternal bliss.

The principle tenet of the Law of Attraction is that you only attract back into your life, what you send out. I think this may help explain the “special deliveries” that my neighbors let their dogs leave for me by my mailbox.

Byrne says that by controlling your thoughts you can determine your own destiny. With the power of positive thinking you can use your emotions as an “internal compass” to steer yourself away from despair and set your course straight to unbridled delirium - and a cleaner walkway.

It seems, however, not everyone is in on “The Secret”. For example, that frustrated man in the car in front of me at the mall yesterday. He was turning blue in the face, while shouting into the Bluetooth on his ear, as I slipped into the primo parking spot, which I had visualized opening up for me, just as he passed by it. Maybe next time he'll put down his cell phone and start communicating with the universe!

The bottom line is that if you live your life like a Johnny Mercer musical, you'll accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative, latch on to the affirmative and get much better parking than Mr. In-Between.

Do you prefer the beat of the Beach Boys? Well, that works too, because “The Secret” is also about good vibrations. Byrnes claims that there is scientific evidence that our thoughts and brain waves physically radiate from our bodies and have a direct and dramatic effect on everything around us. Think of it as the “Butterfly Effect” on Red Bull.

With over a million copies of the DVD flying off the shelves already, and just as many books - I'm guessing that Ms. Byrne is feeling quite a nice buzz herself right now.

So, if you'd like to experience this sensation for yourself, you can order it online. Even better, just imagine it sitting in your mailbox, maybe with a $100 bill as a bookmark - and if you live by the Law of Attraction, one day it may just arrive by Cosmic Courier. But remember, it's “The Secret”, so you didn't hear that from me! .